Farce of the year - 2004

The past two days have not been the unforgottable days of my life or anything as such.But I should mention that I felt really happy during these two days as all our classes were called off.

I was into the "Workshop" and it all started pretty late in that grand auditorium, the only thing thats worth admiring at SSN.And for all those of you who are wondering as to what SSN is, I'll give you just one chance to guess( Yes, I am strict! ).It is not that novel by Tom Clancy.See I gave you a clue and you still are scratching your head.What a pity.But I wouldn't blame you for your ignorance, thats not your fault.Alright I'll save my face before you go into guessing anything still fictious.It is the college in which I study.Don't laugh.Please don't.It is supposed to be the best engineering college in the city( out of the city actually ) and it doesn't stand for integrity, discipline, excellence in education, achievement or anything in particular.It stands for 'Sri Sivasubramaniya Nadar'.Anyways thats it with today's trivia.

So the Workshop started in that grandiose auditorium with about 449 students( I wonder if so many attended ) and some teachers and technicians.The students were all in a jubiliant mood as they couldn't believe that the principal had agreed upon something so unlawful and rubbish - two days of no classes in view of the Workshop to be conducted.So the auditorium was of all whistles, noise and absolute fun totally under the sun and in A/C.Then after some such time arrived the distinguished guests - the trainers ( thats how they were referred to in the inaugaral speech atleast ).One of these guys was cricketer Sadagopan Ramesh's brother, Sadagopan Rajesh.The leader of their team was one geeky bespectacled guy named Mukundan, who had completed his M.S. in the US and had worked at AT & T Bell Labs( Wowww!! ).Good job for a man as young as he was to be here in SSN.The team of trainers were from an instituition or should we say a group named - Rhythm TEC.

After all the haranguing speech and flash presentation, we were asked to go to our respective places as predirected by the GD ma'am Priyadharshini( but thats not the exact name of the position she holds in our college, but for convenience I shall refer to it as "GD ma'am" ).So I was herded into Room No.5, a room behind the auditorium( which I didn't know existed, till that day ), with dimensions near to 300 X 200 cms.To my delight, the room was scarcely filled with around 45 to 50 students.Now picture that.It was like a concentartion camp.I was fearing that there might be a stampede when lunch would be announced.

So the moderator or one of the "trainers" came into that room and right away began dividing the people present into groups of 15, I guess.That group did contain one very special person - me.We were then given badges that would sport a some number.To my delight, I had badge no. 14, which incidentally is my date of birth.So my mind started working out all silly conclusions.The first topic of the first GD conducted in Room No.5(1 + 4 = 5, now am I that lucky, or that imaginative?? ), was - Cellphones have lost their charm, are they a wanted nuisance?

Piece of cake.Such a cliched topic, and rightly so enlisted under the EASY group of topics which was for starters.I didn't want to give up on any GD and just went through with my way.I was talking too much, intending to create a complex amongst my peers and the first round went well, with totally 6 people expressing their views.Towards the end of that round, the moderator gave away many tips and pointed out many inadequacies, one of them about being too talkative with a thought that you are leading and making your point well in the discussion, which of course was not be done.Alright one over, lets move on.Now after that the other groups had their GDs, topics of which were all too easy as well.

The MEDIUM group of topics gave us a shocker - Can we get a new India by eradicating bribery? Now wasn't that supposed to come under the EASY group.Who cares after all.I went on reeling the methods in which we can abolish bribery, each one being solid but never answering the question posed in the topic for discussion.Thank god, no one pointed out the flaw, and that included the moderator who was giving credits to me this time!! I was so brilliantly mesmerizing with those points - that was an anomaly in the system, considering that I am usually credited for all my fiascos till now.

The COMPLEX round now gave way to a topic that I happened to discuss with my Venki over the phone during one of our many meaningless conversations - Capitalism or communism, which is good for India's economy? Thanks to Venki and my memory, I managed to make my points look original.After all I am not that dumb.For those of you out their wondering how I exactly discussed the topic with Venki, let me tell you I just asked him the exact definition of Capitalism and Communism which he gladly did explain, the rest was my talent - total build up!! Though the conclusion wasn't in favour of me, I somehow managed to make it look as though I had made my points well.So that was it, 3 GDs and I was done with day 1.

Day 2 saw some funny incidents, most of which I won't forget atleast for sometime to come.We were all now waiting outside the Sports complex for the necessary moderators to arrive.I was busy reading 'The Da Vinci Code' for sometime, after which I began to notice that people around were not that fond with my business.So I closed the book and was chatting with the guys till the "trainers" arrived.

The session was about 'Stress Management' and we were managing stress seeing powerpoint presentations for sometime.Later on there was this test for how good our attention was, which was true revelation all by itself.In this game you had to position your hands in front of your chest as though you were holding a box, that is with the palms facing each other.When the Master would say 'rat' you had to shorten the distance between your palms, and when he'd say 'cat' you had to widen it.God, that game was THE game that tested level of attention, it seems.For all you people eager to know, as you guessed it, I got out early.Anyways after that, we did a couple of meditation techniques, during which our guys at the back were chuckling, giggling, guffawing with odd sounds, which surely did bring so much mirth in every soul that was closing its eyes.

So after the Stress managed well, and after the lunch we were back in the auditorium again, this time for our 'Mock Interview' session which really made a mockery out of me.The "trainers" handling this came way too late and were giving thoroughly boring lectures about facing the interview.They had split us into groups of 8 and gave each group some task associated with the interviewing process.After our discussion, someone from each group will have to present their group's ideas.Wait, I didn't go up there to represent my group, as I am a bit clever with these things.Some girl from our group went and presented our amazing ideas, well.I should make a mention of a god named Shyamal Rao , who represented his group, went out to the middle without a paper and just began giving an amazingly clear and smooth speech.I was awed like the 90 others in the auditorium.The reason I say he is a god, is not only because of that speech, but because of the person he was.I don't have enough space to fit in details about anecdotes and stories realated to him right here.I guess those who know him, know him well.

Then towards the end, we were asked to quickly prepare resumes.Everyone handed over their resumes, and then came the blow.The guy initially said it was just to check the attendance.After having made the collection, the two of them sorted out the resumes and picked out two resumes very carefully.Then into the mic - "Who is Arun?" Shit!

I was selected for the honour of being interviewed in front of the 90 odd people.So having no choice, but to face it, I went to center and I was dutifully handed the mic.I was seated there in front of the crowd, wishing that my mother would wake me up with a jerk.But no, this wasn't going to go that way.I was sitting in the interviewer's chair, with my body leaning forwards, raring to run on hearing the gun shot.No gun shot.The guy instead started shooting his first question - "Tell me about yourself".I started reeling something about myself like I was reasonable, practical.He then went on to ask subsequent questions all of which were inspired from my previous answers.But I was sounding monotonic as I wasn't interested a bit, but that somehow didn't inspire him to stop asking questions.And finally - "Do you have any questions?" to which I replied "Aaah....no not anything in particular." There I was actually thinking of asking him "Are you done with embarassing me?Are you happy atleast now, you @#00$%^&?"

So I was done with that, but I was not going to be left just like that.Atleast the interviewers thought so, and after due consideration they were generous enough to ask questions to the witnesses and had their opinions, all to their heart's content.These guys unfailingly pointed out my ready-steady-go position, my monotonic voice, my initial nervousness and what not all in public.And finally this farce ended! I was only too happy to get out of the auditorium and then be back in for the valedictory to see my "trainers" get honoured.Overall, these were to tw(o)o tiring days, that has left me with material enough to put in this blog.oooof!!