I've started so I'll finish...

"...I don't have the passion anymore, and so remember, its better to burn out than to fade away." These were the last words of the suicide note that Kurt Cobain wrote(the actual last words were 'I LOVE YOU, I LOVE YOU' though). I'm reminded of this at present. I know that this blog has been left un-updated ever since I don't know when. I've lost the sense of time. I feel rotten right now thinking of a future, a road that I have to journey in, a road that will someday bring me back to the freedom and sense of accomplishment and satisfaction that I've always felt while writing any post or article, a road that I'm yet to find, a road that as Schrodinger says is somewhere here. I can no longer be here and stand to think of this blog not being updated frequently. I don't know if I'm sounding corny or just way too plain or too build-uppy kind. Just that I'm not able to let go typing these words, once I've started to, in a way I want, in a way that isn't forced by an educational system or a family issue. It just feels so much better to come out of this sickly hibernation of not posting for long and writing here to my pulse. I'm just happy to think of times when I've marketed this blog successfully and sometimes unsuccessfully by asking people questions like "Would you like to read my blog?" over the chat to which most of them would think shit who'd want to read his rant but would be all nice on the outside, perhaps not being in a mood to be a mordant client and say "why of course" or "ya" or "ok". Ok, I'm grateful to you people for bothering to click and help me see the counter(previoulsy) rise. But was it worth a click? Tell it to anyone else, but me, cos I don't want to hear any negatives..ahem..ahem and I feel sorry to have bothered you all had I known I'd end it on December 30, 2005. The hell with it, anyway. On the hindsight, I also feel many of my posts have been way too immature or a dampener in the name of humour. I don't feel sorry for those; they have not restricted the writer in me. They have made me think twice before typing out a sentence. I don't know if I've thought well now, before doing this. But as far as 'The A Factor' goes here is the end.